A Thankful Thursday..

First of all. For those of you who called, texted, emailed, commented, Facebook whatever'd, actually came over to my house! (Yes, one of you did, and I love you so much for it) 

Thank you.

Your kind words, all of them, made me forget about the hurt feelings from others. I was feeling the love from all sorts of people, a few unexpected places too. I can't thank you guys enough for that.

Now, onto a lighter note!

It's Thursday, and I haven't done a Thankful Thursday in a while. I have been remiss! So here it is, I'm back on track. Enjoy!

1. The thunder and lightening storm last night at 2 in the am. I might have been up with a hyper Aislynn, but it was awesome to have the living room light up from the lightening.

2. Seeing Aislynn wanting to be just like daddy.

 3. My friend S. She brought me two GIANT plastic containers, filled with clothes her daughter has grown out of. Pretty sure I don't have to shop for Aislynn until she's 2!

4. That this month is almost over. July has been a rough one for me this year. I don't like summer in the best of times, but with that, this and the other thing? Let's move on to August!

5. Aislynn antics. All you can do is giggle.

Yeah, she's in two different toilets...

6. Our family Dr being the emerg room Dr yesterday. He is so amazing. We really felt like he gave us extra special treatment, and the fact that he already knows our daughter, and she trusts him. It made things a lot smoother.

7. That we didn't need to get stitches in her head, just the glue. Someone needs to tell me the correct terminology though, because I feel so silly saying, "Oh yeah, she's fine. The Dr just glued her would together." It sounds a bit red neckish.

8. Vinegar. I just went through all of my Thankful Thursday posts, and I can't believe I have left you out, my dear friend. 

9. Knowing my moms recipe and tricks to her her home made pie and pie crusts. I never liked pie growing up, but now I love it and I love having something I can bring sometime delicious to a friend, new mom, dinner party.

10. J. My work out buddy. I so need someone to push me when I feel like quitting, someone to make me feel ok with the fact that I am uncoordinated and out of shape, someone who is my friend. Thanks J! She's also the friend who gave me three of these bad boys.

11. Other J, who is joining in on the work out fun! It's great to have a work out buddy, and it's even greater to be in a group! We're all pretty much at the same level (well, except the first J, she's got 3 months on us and is kicking butt), so it's not intimidating. It's actually been a lot of fun. Which I never thought I would say working out is fun.

12. My big brother. It's his birthday today and I am so thankful to have a big brother. My first best friend. My body guard. He's awesome. We don't get to see him on his actual birthday because all of our schedules are so wacky, but we have finally setteled on seeing him this weekend. Aislynn LOVES her uncle, so it'll be a fun day!

13. That I sold and donated over 100 books. Pretty much a whole book shelf. It's an amazing feeling to declutter.

14. Along those lines, we sold over 100 dvd's as well. Next thing to go? A lot of Aislynn's clothing.

15. That neither Cuinn, nor I, have ever been involved in a shooting. They are so prevelent today, and I'm not trying to be flip about the most recent CO shooting, but I see things like this and I am so grateful that the Simpsons remain ignorant to how that must feel to go through that.

16. Listening to Aislynn chatter away. I love that we have "conversations." I ask her something like, "What should mummy make for dinner tonight?" and she actually answers me. I have no idea what she's saying, but she babbles and then looks at me for a response. It is adorable!

17. When Aislynn fell and bumped her head, I picked her up and she burrowed her face into my neck and wrapped her arms around me. I hated seeing her in pain, but there was a moment of joy in my heart that she wanted me in her time of need. She is so independant, so it is a bit of a rareity that she seeks comfort. When she does, it feel amazing.

18. That I'm still able to be nursing my daughter. I know there are a lot of mummy's who couldn't nurse, or had to give it up, so I am so glad that I still have that special connection with my daughter right before bed time.

19. Sitting in a quiet room. Bowl of cereal in hand. Just thinking. 

20. Our park in our tiny town. Aislynn loves it, and when we turn the corner onto the parks street, she starts yelling PARK! PARK! And does the babble thing again. It is so awesome. 

What are you thankful for right now?

I'm linking up with Jade today, head on over and join in the fun!!

A Bit Of A Rant...

Warning. I'm not worrying about who is going to be offended by this post. I've got a lot of feelings going on, and I have tried to be considerate of other people's feelings. Which has been pointless since the same people have no consideration for mine. So. If you are feeling extra sensitive, it would probably just be best to not continue reading.

There has been a lot of things going on in our home in the last little while. Some things that I just can't post about because family stuff is private. Plus, I don't think I need to share those intimate details with the whole wide web. Or at least the 30 people who follow my little corner of the web. Suffice to say (is that the way that saying goes?) we have a lot of family things happening. Which already puts Cuinn and I at stress level midnight.

As they say though; when it rains, it pours.

Cuinn and I went to the Early Years Center here in town. I was so excited to have Cuinn with Aislynn and I today. This was the first time he was able to come, and I was so excited.

We had a mostly good time. Cuinn was able to see how Aislynn goes about her playing in the big backyard. How she gives her friend B hugs. How I have a few really great moms to chat with (Jenn, Jenny, Michelle, Jenn. Just to name the ones who were there). These women who I am able to complain to, because I know they will encourage me, as I encourage them. There are other moms who have been so amazing here, and they deserve recognition too, but right now is not the time.

The part he didn't like?

The judgey moms and the cliques he saw.

Now, I'm a stay at home mom. I already know that moms are bitches. 

Whoops, sorry did that offend you?

But what hurts me, is that my husband, who was there one time, and was surrounded by my supportive friends, noticed other moms. Who kept giving him looks, and staring at Aislynn and watching her play, making Cuinn feel like he was on show.

After that, we got to talking about what my day to day is like and I think he was pretty upset at some of the stories that I told.

See, I try really hard to keep that part out of my daily stories I tell him. He doesn't need to know that there are moms out there, in my tiny town, who make me feel tiny. And hurt. Because when I do tell him? He wants to run to my rescue and fix it. Which is why I love him, but I need to "fight my own battles" as they say.

That's my point though. I'm not going to fight with these moms. They don't like me? Well, too bad. It hurts a lot, because I am one of those people who will go home and cry about it while my kid naps. But on the other side of that, I live in a tiny, little town. And I am going to have to put up with the stupid, childish, mommy drama for the rest of my time here. Our kids will grow up together, they will go to school together, be in brownies together, in music lessons together, go on field trips together, possibly be friends, or be in the same group of friends together.

So how am I dealing with it?

I've distanced myself.

Because I know, with all of my heart, that once I start telling these people that they have hurt me, or made me want to protect my child, that it will be a slow fall to us being on the outside.

So I stick to my friends who have been here. Who call me. Who ask me how I am. Who love my child. Who make me feel like a valued person.

After thinking about this, and talking about it with Cuinn, it really made me start questioning things though. 

Wondering why it's like this? Why can't all the moms just get along? Why do people have to be in separate groups? 

Honestly? I have absolutely no answers.

All I can say right now, is that growing up means nothing sometimes. There are always going to be people who hurt you and you can't avoid it. Ever. But what you can do, is grow a thicker skin. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. 

Not everyone is going to like you, but there will always be people who do. Keep your eyes on that.

A Silent Sunday...

Source: etsy.com via Sarah on Pinterest

A Letter To You...

Dear EYC mommy snob who was mean to my kid,

I talked to my friends, and they told me they like me. My mum does too. So I've decided not to care that you don't like my kid, or my parenting, or whatever. People like me and my family. 

Dear mommy not snobs,

I love you.

Dear left over cheese dip from last night,

Cuinn and I are going to eat you so hard. It's gonna be so awesome. For us. Not so much for you, since I will be imagining you crying while we eat you because it is hurting you.

Dear hubby,

Don't be mad that I give feelings to all inanimate objects. You knew what you were getting into.

Dear Weekend,

Thanks for being here, and thanks for being a real weekend which Cuinn actually has off. It's gonna be awesome.

Dear L,

Your son is turning 1. Can you believe it?

Dear Aislynn,

Stop growing.

Dear J,

Those giant, scary zucchini you gave me? Oh man. So good. Seriously. PLUS, my freezer is full of zucchini now, so I'm good for a while.

Dear Bed,

I'm coming at ya.

A Prayer For Aurora, CO...

When I hear of things like this it breaks my heart. I feel for the victims and their families. What a horrific and tragic event to happen to people who are just heading out to a movie. 

I also feel for the person who inflicts the pain. What they did was wrong, of course, but as a Christian I am taught to hate the sin but love the sinner. 

My prayers are going out to the families of the 12 who were killed. To the 59 who were injured. To the other patrons who will carry unseen scars. To the family of the shooter and also to the shooter. We don't know what was going on in his mind moments, days, weeks before this horrific act. Nothing will condone what he did, but he still needs our prayers.

Marilyn Manson wrote an essay on the Columbine shooting 13 years ago, and it is so relevant to today. You might not like his music, you might think he's weird, you might even agree that he is the "anti-christ". But you have to admit, the man makes a few really good points. I urge you to read it.

A Letter To....

Dear husband,

I miss you. We have both been so busy this week, and now tonight is a boys night. I wish you had weekends off.

Dear my friend J,

It's kinda awesome having you as my friend. The baby sitting trade offs. Being work out buddies. Having someone to talk to when we need it. You rock, J.

Dear Aislynn,

We're going to be driving in the car tomorrow for an hour and a half. I have snacks prepped, your CD's in the car, and drinks cooling in the fridge. Please, let's make it there without incident. 

Dear new car,

I love you. Thanks for being awesome.

Dear old car,

Don't feel abandoned. I still think of you fondly and miss you a bit. 

Dear husband,

Yeah, you're getting two notes this Friday. You are amazing. I'm so proud of you every single day and I'm here to help as much as I can through the next phase in our life.

Dear Desperate Housewives,

Why do I enjoy you so much?!?

Dear readers,

Thanks for stopping by. I love you all.

A Play Date With A Friend...

Aislynn is a joy to me. She is so full of energy. She feels every emotion so strongly and with her whole body. She is vibrant and inquisitive and so full of life. Sometimes other parents don't want their kids to play with Aislynn because she is a bit too much for their own kids.

But Aislynn has one very special friend. A friend who is just like her. They hug and kiss and play with each other so well, and then they pull each others hair and steal each others toys. They really are two peas in a pod.

Today Aislynn's very special friend, Brianna, came over to play for a little while. Brianna has two sisters and one of her sisters has been pretty sick, so Brianna's mommy thought it was time to go to the ER to make sure everything was ok. Lucky for us though, that meant Brianna and Aislynn were able to have a play together.

Thank you Michelle, for being my friend and having a daughter who is just like mine! We all had so much fun today, and I thought you might want to see the evidence!

Aislynn was so excited for the visit, she just kept on hugging Bri.

I went to the bathroom, came out and they were hiding in the corner with all the toys.

Playing with the kitchen together

Helping each other with their sandals.

Don't let their expressions fool you, they were giggling and telling stories the whole ride!

I sat them on the stoop, left the timbits and went to put the wagon away. I came back and they had broken into the timbits. 

My own fault for leaving the timbits with them. I applauded their efforts though.

As I was making lunch, I came around the corner and this is what I saw.

They were getting snoozy.

Our lunch! Home made mac and cheese.

Getting snoozier...

But found their second wind.

Aislynn was trying to give Brianna a hug, but Brianna was not interested so was using her evasive maneuvers...

All in all, it was a really fantastic morning. Looking forward to the next time! I think in the years to come I'll be seeing a lot of Brianna. Good thing her mom is so great.