A weekend report..

Hello my friends!

Well here we are on another Sunday night and I find myself scratching my head and wondering where the last week has gone! This weekend has been a blast. My brother (S) and his girlfriend (AM) and her son (AI) spend the night here last night and we had a great visit with them. Here's what we did!

Saturday Cuinn was working all day (unfortunately) so I stayed home to get things ready for my family. I folded about 100 loads of laundry, I vacuumed the living room/hallway/entrance way, I tidied the living room and kitchen, I unloaded the dishwasher, I (finally) unpacked the last 2 boxes in Aislynn's room and I did all this while still hanging out with Aislynn. I was being such a good wifey. By the end of it, my house was tidy, Aislynn was fed, happy and clothed in an outfit cute enough for family, and I was stinky from cleaning. I really wanted to shower, but since I haven't had the guts to shower while Aislynn is alone yet, my lovely friend A came over and sat with Aislynn while I had a quick shower. Seriously, A is a very dear friend of mine.

So after I had made myself sufficiently presentable for company, A and I hung out until my fam got here. We just kinda sat and chatted with our babies. I love friends you can just relax with, and I feel super relaxed with A. After a little while, S, AM and AI got here. They had only taken 1 and a half hours to get here!! Which is a big deal, seeing as the last time they came it took them FOUR HOURS to get here! Given that last time was Canada Day, I'll give 'em a break, but they still got here sooner than I expected. We all hung out for a bit and it was nice. Well, except with the sudden rush of a lot of people in the house ALL trying to grab at Aislynn, she got overwhelmed VERY quickly and needed a cuddle with mummy to calm down again.

Side note: I have realized this weekend that my baby really is quite the momma's girl. For real. She does NOT like to be away from me. Which is making it a little stressful for this momma. If I'm going to be honest though, I'm really ok with it. What with the whole attachment parenting thing, I feel that I need to be with her and making sure she feels safe and secure and loved by Cuinn and I is our number one priority.

So while we were waiting for Cuinn to get off work, we all hung out a little and just chatted. I miss my brother and sister in law a lot. I really enjoy the time we have together and it's almost always never enough. So time with them was my priority. We all were getting pretty hungry since we weren't going to be eating until Cuinn got home (which would be about 630), so we decided to head on out to Timmies. One of Aislynn's favorite places. So we all went on a walk and got some treats. I got a fruit smoothie. As usual. And it was delicious. As usual. When we got home AM and I decided to get started on some din din. I put Aislynn in her high chair right near the kitchen so she could see me and we got started making corn on the cob (12 for 1.99 at Zehrs! Score!), potatoes, red peppers, mushrooms, parsnips and hot dogs. All on the BBQ! Except the corn. We boiled the corn. While we were getting it ready, Cuinn came home, so he actually BBQ'd. AM and Aislynn and I went out to keep him company though. Mostly because our extremely opinionated neighbor was out there and he annoys Cuinn to no end. So I figured I would try to "save him". I think he appreciated it.

Dinner was delicious!

And guess what else.

We started BLW.

Now, I know I am early. Aislynn is only 5 months old. I'm supposed to wait until 6 months. But BLW also states that I'm to let her pick off of my plate. And the last week and a half has been a fight because she keeps trying to pick off of Cuinn and my plate while we eat and I want to say no because she's not 6 months. I finally broke down and thought, "BLW is about letting Aislynn decide when and what she eats. So I'm going to follow that and go with my gut, which is what everyone tells me to do anyway, and let her eat."

So we gave her a piece of honey dew melon and a red pepper and let her go to town.

And she loved it.

Here's a couple pictures!

So yeah. 

That was the high light of my Saturday!

So Sunday morning came and Cuinn and I got up and ready for church. I really didn't want to wake S and AM and AI up because they were all sleeping, and as a parent now, I don't want to be woken up if my kid is letting me sleep in. Just as we were about to leave S and AM woke up and we felt like since they were up we didn't just want to leave them here to wait for us so we took the week off of church. I am not going to feel guilty. I am not.

Ok. 

I am a bit.

But we ended up having pancakes for brunch! It was so yummylicious! I, of course, can make anything in the kitchen EXCEPT breakfast food. So Cuinn was our chef for the morning. I, of course, hate when someone else is cooking in my kitchen, and I kept going in to "help". Cuinn got very annoyed very quickly and gave me a swat on the bum with the spatula. I got the point. 

This is definitely something I need to work on. I need to learn how to let go and not hover over Cuinn so much. I have the tendency to feel that my way is best and take over. I really need to let go of the control and allow Cuinn to do his thing. I'm sorry Cuinn. I was wrong.

Now that is something you don't see very often.

Anyway, so we had pancakes. And guess who loved them

You guessed it!

Aislynn thought that daddy is a very good chef!

After our yummy brunch of pancakes, berries, cereal, bagels and juice (carb city? of yeah), Aislynn was ready for her nap, so I put her in her crib, turned the mobile on, and she rolled over and fell asleep. Seriously. I have the best baby ever.

Only thing is, we wanted to go swimming. So we had to wait. Which is fine. Of course, Aislynn chose today to have the longest nap she's ever had. An hour and a half! She usually only sleeps for 20 minutes or half an hour tops, during the day, so this was a marathon sleep!! I know it's because there are so many people in the house and there is just so much going on, but man alive!

Finally, Aislynn woke up and I gave A a call, because we had plans to go swimming anyway. We all loaded up and headed out. 

We got to the pool.

We unloaded.

We locked and shut the car door.

With the keys locked inside.

Yup.

With the keys locked inside.

Luckily, A has CAA so she was sooo generous to let us use one of her free helps. We called the tow truck and they were there within 20 minutes to get the keys out. Of course, with the keys locked in the car, so was my wallet. So we owe A big since she paid for our swimming AND helped us get into our car again.

Again, I am so thankful for great friends.

After our swim, the fam and I trooped back to our place where S got pizzas and we all just chilled out and made plans for S and AM to come back next weekend for.....

POTATO FESTIVAL!!

Seriously. You have NO idea how excited I am for potato festival. I have a very busy week this week, but Aislynn and I are staying home on Wednesday and Thursday morning JUST to make sure we're well rested for the weekend. We have dinner plans with some friends on Thursday night, but we'll be home early. Oh man, oh man. I am super stoked for Potato Festival!!

Oh yeah, remember how I said Aislynn was feeling overwhelmed? Another way I knew? She fell asleep in my arms at 7 pm. SEVEN PM! She doesn't go to sleep until 930 usually! She fell asleep at 7, I went over to A's to watch Big Brother, it's now 11 pm and she's still asleep! I'm also willing to bet she sleeps until tomorrow morning. Her usual routine is asleep  by 930, wakes at 6 for her soother, sleeps again until 9ish. We'll see how tonight goes. Man though, she sure was snoozy!

Anyway, we had a fantastic weekend with friends and family and I can't wait for our fun filled week. Don't worry, I'll keep you all posted!

Thanks for reading, friends!!

100 things I love...

A while back a friend wrote a blog challenging people to make a list of 100 things that you love. I wasn't blogging at the time but I did make a "note" on Facebook trying to come up with 100 things. I have to be honest, it was kinda hard. By about number 60, I was losing steam. I made it though. I finished the list. I decided that I'm going to make the list again. A new list. With things that I love. Some will be silly, but that's ok. I kinda love being silly. I could honestly make a list of 100 things I love about Cuinn and Aislynn, so I am going to try to limit this list to things other than Cuinn and Aislynn, but they're my world. So they will still probably be a big part of my list. Anyway, enjoy!

1. My family

2. A cool breeze on a warm summers night

3. Walking to Timmies with Cuinn and Aislynn when it's dark out.

4. Hanging out with other mommies and their babies at the pool.

5. Gooey cookies

6. Skypeing with my mum and dad

7. Getting a letter in the mail

8. When a craft comes out exactly how I imagined it

9. When a craft comes out looking nothing how I imagined it

10. Reading in the bathtub with the door closed all by myself.

11. Family shower time (Don't judge)

12. Our family bed

13. When Cuinn and I are silly with each other

14. That time with Cuinn, right before we go to bed and we chat about our days. 

15. Wrestling with Cuinn, especially when I win. 

16. Playing Phase Ten with my family. Actually, playing any game with my family

17. Aislynn kisses

18. Aislynn's laugh

19. Breastfeeding

20. Waking up and seeing Cuinn and Aislynn all snuggly

21. Reading in my bed. With the door shut.

22. Watching Cuinn becoming such an amazing father

23. Looking through pictures

24. Getting together with friends you don't see often

25. Getting together with friends you DO see often

26. Slipping on my skinny jeans and being able to button them up

27. Laying on the grass and watching the clouds

28. Making plans with Cuinn about the future

29. Watching Aislynn learn

30. Cuddles with my family while we watch a movie

31. BB Nights with my friend A

32. Cooking days with A and J

33. The mommy groups I go to

34. Stars and Stroller dates with my friends

35. Going barefoot

36. Getting my hair washed at the salon

37. A really good deal

38. New clothes and how sexy I feel in them

39. Blogging

40. Trying a new recipe and having it turn out pretty tasty

41. When I bake something and Cuinn already has eaten it all by the next day

42. Being married 

43. Being a stay at home mom

44. The minute I have finished grocery shopping because I always think, "This is the longest point from when I have to go grocery shopping again."

45. Going to church on Sunday with my family

46. Christmas. All of it.

47. Snow

48. Marshmallows 

49. Aislynn playing with my hair in the early mornings

50. A clean house

51. Caffeine free Coke

52. When Aislynn is crying and I go to her and as soon as she sees me she stops crying and smiles

53. Clean baby smell

54. All things Potter.

55. Rain

56. Going on vacation. Even if it's just for a night.

57. Looking at my Florida scrapbook

58. Salt and Vinegar chips

59. Vinegar

60. Reading other blogs and becoming inspired

61. Giving gifts

62. Receiving gifts

63. Sitting down to dinner as a family

64. Farmer's Markets

65. Cora's breaky

66. Donalds breaky

67. Fireworks

68. Canada Day

69. Having people over

70. Getting invited over for dinner. It's such a grown up thing!

71. Sleeping in my own bed after sleeping somewhere else

72. Having an A/C this summer

73. Being pregnant

74. Date nights with my studly husband

75. Dressing up

76. Family outings. 

77. Small town festivals

78. Staring at the stars

79. Glenn's Family Tea House 

80. Berry On The Run tea

81. Large berry smoothie no yogurt and a chocolate chunk cookie please. (My order from Tims)

82. When Cuinn brings me home a treat

83. DQ ice cream cake

84. My curtains. I am seriously in love with my curtains

85. Dudley

86. Banana slurpee's from Macs

87. Back rubs

88. Ice cold glass of chocolate milk

89. Cereal

90. Bed time snacks with Cuinn

91. Pretending to be all grown up

92. Red Peppers

93. Reading to Aislynn the same books that my dad read to me.

94. Continuing some of my parents traditions with Aislynn

95. Quoting Michael Scott with Cuinn. All of the time. (Peach Ice Tea. You're gonna hate it.)

96. Inside jokes. 

97. Realizing that the older I get, the more like my parents I become. And being really ok with that.

98. Dancing

99. Walking around in my underwear

100. All my lovely readers. I really love you all!!

Alright, I've shown you mine, now you show me yours! I challenge you ALL to sit down and come up with a list of 100 things you love. It's a little harder than you might think, but it's worth it. I feel all warm and happy inside thinking of all things I love. It seriously puts you in a great mood. And now I'm all set to go to bed smiling. Can't wait to read all of your lists!!

A reminder that you're loved.

Hi friends! How are you all doing today? I hope you're enjoying your summers!!

I don't really have a whole lot to blog about today. It's summer, so my mommy groups have been kinda funny. Not ha ha funny.

More like, closed for vacations, funny.

Which isn't really funny at all.

More annoying.

We've been a bit lazy and slacking on our routines.

Although, not too much, or my baby would not be a happy camper.

Which means momma would not be a happy camper.

And when momma ain't a happy camper well, you know the rest.

Anyway,

Life is good.

I've been hanging out with a friend of mine as much as possible. Mostly because she lets me do laundry at her house. For free.

Just kidding A!

For reals though, she's pretty awesome. She's gotta cute little boy who is close in age to my baby girl. Baby Aislynn is even starting to notice baby boy N. He was crying today and Aislynn gave him a dirty look. So, y'know, progress.

I think I've mentioned my friend A before. We met at a mommy group here. It was both of our first time and when we went around the circle telling each other our names, our baby's name and age, and where we live (a process I find incredibly annoying and makes conversation very stilted, by the way), A and I found out that we live a street away from each other and hey, wouldn't it be neat if we walked together next time? Thus, a friendship formed out of our mutual loneliness. 

Seriously though, she's awesome. She's one of those people you just click with and you know you can be real friends. Not just pretend ones. 

Anyway, I've been hanging out with her a lot lately. Because, sadly, she's leaving me.

She's moving far, far away.

And taking her laundry facilities with her.

I'm really not using her for her washer and dryer. For cereal. 

That means for serious.

Back to my point.

She's leaving me.

I can't really get too hurt by it though, because she's leaving me to go be with her man who went away to find a better job. Well, he found it, and now that means A has to leave too.

Is it bad that I kinda hoped he couldn't find a better job? 

Not that I don't want them to do well. I really do.

I just want them to do really well here!

All joking aside, I'm really happy for them. It sounds like a fantastic opportunity for them, and A says that they will be coming back here so that N can go to school here. Plus, her family is here, so she HAS to at least come for visits.

The good thing about her going away is that I kind of realized that I've made some roots here. 

I've been thinking about how when she leaves I would have no friends and I threw myself a bit of a pity party and cried a bit to Cuinn. Who then said, "Are you serious, Sarah? You've got TONS of friends. Plus, you could make friends with the most miserable, anti social person in the world. In fact, you married him. You're going to be fine."

Might not sound very helpful to you. Might even sound kinda mean. But coming from Cuinn, it was exactly what I needed. Which is why Cuinn is so perfect for me. He always knows what I need to hear and how to make me feel better. He's pretty amazing.

So I started to take stock of what I've got here in my little life.

First and foremost, I have a pretty awesome family. My husband might not like people, and my baby might get annoyed with other babies, but they both love me and that makes me feel all happy inside.

I have a couple mommy groups which are pretty great networking places. I have met some really awesome people there. One of the other mommies has a little boy who is named after one of my favorite comics. I don't know if he was actually named after him, but I like to think so and his mommy is pretty cool. A and I actually do cooking days with her, J, and I really like hanging out with her. She's really down to earth and she reads a lot of parenting articles/books/blogs/anything she can get her hands on, so she is always a wealth of baby information. Which is awesome. And she's only ONE of the other mommies that I really like at these groups I go to.

Cuinn and I have an amazing church where we are starting to feel more comfortable at. Seriously. It's so cool to be at a church with other young families and worshiping with them. We've made a few "couple" friends. Which is weird, I will admit. Cuinn really doesn't like people (have I mentioned that?), so it's rare that we find another couple where we are both happy. Usually I love them both and he doesn't, or he finds a bachelor friend and then it's just awkward if I tag along on their boy dates. But there are definite friend potential in our new church friends. We're actually going to have dinner at one of the pastors families homes this week. So. Y'know. That's cool.

By the way, is it normal for a church to have multiple pastors? I never knew other churches did that! In the Salvation Army there is usually only one pastor. Sometimes an assistant, but I think that's even rare. I suppose they have the youth pastors occasionally as well, but I dunno. our new church has a lot of people preaching on a long rotation. It's cool though. It's kinda like a smorgasborg of pastors. One for every taste. Which is good right? I mean, everybody gets their God on in a different way. Anyway, I'll post more on this on another day.

We've also got my brother and his girlfriend here. Well, not HERE exactly, they're about 2 hours away. With no traffic. So we can't just hop in the car and hang out. It takes a little planning. But they're around. My brother is pretty awesome. He's my big brother. He protected me when I was young, he taught me a lot, probably some stuff my parents wish he hadn't of, he was my first partner in crime, and my first best friend. I look up to him. I probably don't tell him that often enough. What? I don't do feelings very well. Not outloud anyway. That's why I blog. Anyway, my point is, my bro's got my back. And I got his.

Sometimes I think we need to take a step back and look at the awesome people we have in our lives. It's easy to get wrapped up in our own crap and feel like we're all alone on this planet and that nobody is there to help. I really get down sometimes and feel like I don't have people. Then I take a breath, take a step back and look at my life. I've got a support system. I've got friends. I've got a life here. Please don't get stuck, my friends, in the "lonely loop". You feel lonely, you feel you have no friends, you don't go out, you become more lonely. It's a terrible loop to get into and once your in it, it can be so hard to get out of it. Please make sure you remember that you have people! Remember that other people feel lonely too and sometimes all it takes to get out of the lonely loop is to pick up the phone, call that new friend you made, and ask them to go for a walk. Or go for coffee. Or invite them to a movie. Just don't get stuck feeling alone. You're not. You are loved.

So, life here in our tiny little town is pretty good. 

Life is good.

Is your life good? I hope so, friends!

Why we do the things we do...

Hello my lovely readers! It's been so long since I last posted and I figured it was time for an update. I've been thinking about a few posts I want to do, but they are a bit on the controversial side and I'm trying to write them delicately since I know a few of my readers will NOT agree with some of my thoughts. So it's going to take me a while to get to them. Mostly because I'm not used to censoring things. I have a bit of a filter problem sometimes.

Anyway, there are a couple things that Cuinn and I have decided to implement into our parenting that I thought was time to explain. As usual, this will probably come out rambly and all over the place. But you're all used to that right? And you love that about my blog. Right? Right. So here. We. Go. (Ten points if you got the movie reference)

Baby Led Weaning.

I know you're all dying to know what decision we came to about the food issue I've been having. A good friend of mine lent me a book that is basically the BLW  bible. It was such a blessing! As I was reading it I found myself nodding and thinking "YES! This is exactly right!" So thank you, S, for loaning me your book! It has been a life saver! I'm not ready to give it back yet as I will probably have to go back for encouragement that I'm doing things right, but you will get it back. Eventually. 

Anyway, for those of you who don't really get BLW, let me give you a quick over view.

Let me be clear, though. All that I'm telling you about BLW is MY interpretation and is strictly my thoughts on the subject. Please don't take what I say as the concrete way to think of or implement it. Please discuss with your doctors, your midwives, your partners. Do your own research. Read your own books. Then throw it all out the window and make your own decision! Just know that I believe in you and that I believe you are making the right decision for your family, no matter what decision you make!

BLW is basically an extension of breastfeeding. As with breast feeding, you are allowing your child to make the decision to eat. What to eat and when to eat. BLW is giving your child the opportunity to, firstly, play and explore food. And by food I mean, well, uh, FOOD food. Not mush. Not cereal. Not baby food. But food. Exactly what I'm eating, and just give it to her. It's letting your baby take food from your plate, or putting food on her high chair tray and allowing her to explore the different textures and tastes that you get to enjoy. The only restrictions I've seen is the allergen stuff. Y'know, nuts, strawberries, honey. 

BLW gives your child the control with food, which I love! I don't need to teach her how to eat mush from a spoon, just to have to teach her how to chew later on. Babies already have the skills, spoon feeding them takes away from their natural abilities! 

Another plus? It seems that BLW babies are a lot less picky, because they have always been given the opportunity to explore the food themselves and not just have it placed on a spoon to the back of their throat before they could taste it.

Now, I will say I have a couple reservations. Number one reservation. The mess. Ok, I am NOT a neat freak. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I enjoy my clutter. I embrace it. But I am a little nervous about just letting my baby girl play with her food. Only because I remember having to clean the snack/lunch table at work. 3 times a day. It's a lotta work. I know I am going to have a hard time with this, but if it's between having to feed my baby mush and letting her explore the world of food herself? I'm so picking the latter. I really am looking forward to watching her learn that a piece of lemon is sour while a piece of orange is sweet. I can't wait to explore food with her!

The other reservation I have is everybody else. I can practically hear my husband cringing. Whenever I tell him that someone hurt my feelings, or I hate that my decision bothers someone else he always responds with, "Who cares what they think/say. Don't let it bother you." 

Which bothers me.

I can't help it. I like approval. I crave approval. I need approval. 

Which is why the food issue is such an issue. 

I feel like this reservation is so silly though, that it really isn't a reservation at all. More of a...thing. A blip on my radar. A bigger blip than I care to admit, but it's there all the same.

Either way, even with my two little issues about BLW, I'm still super excited about trying it with Aislynn!! Don't worry, I'll keep you all posted on how it goes!

One of the other parenting choices we get asked about is our Disney policy. 

We don't do Disney.

We don't buy the clothes.

We don't buy the toys.

We don't allow them in our house.

BUT...

We do allow the movies.

Some of them.

I know, I know. We're awful parents. We don't allow our daughter to conform to the big nasty corporation that sucks every pre-teen girl into this ridiculous standard of what a girls life should be. Terrible parenting!

OK, OK. Not all of it is bad, I will admit, but let me tell you why we don't "do" Disney.

I don't like that Disney is such a thing. It used to be that Snow White would come out in theater, then you could buy the movie, and that was it. Maybe at Halloween you could buy the costume and be Snow White for an evening. That was it though. Now? Now Cars comes out and your can buy shirts and shorts and pencil cases and backpacks and toys and this and that and the other thing. Seriously? Why can't it just be a movie? Why does it have to be plastered on every little thing? Why can't a frisbee just be a frisbee? Why does it have to have Lightening McQueen on it? Wait, do kids even know what a frisbee is these days? Maybe I should have said laptop or cell phone. Either way, I HATE that Disney has to have it's hand in EVERYTHING!

I also hate the ridiculous standards it puts on girls. Every princess is perfect! The have long beautiful hair and tiny perfect bodies and that is just so wrong. We girls already have a helluva time trying to be the "perfect woman." I'm not going to start that with my daughter before she even knows boys and girls are different. It also shows that we girls need to be "saved". Now, I know that I am pretty spoiled. I am a daddy's girl, I have an older brother who looks after me and I married a man who takes very good care of his two girls. But y'know what? I'm not a weak individual who NEEDS a man to save me. Yes, it's so romantic to think that your prince will come for you, but it's also pretty damn cool if the princess can save herself. I want Aislynn to be a strong woman who can climb any mountain and slay any dragon herself. I want Aislynn to be a person in her own right. And if a man can live up to HER standards, then maybe she will give him the time of day. (OK, enough of my feminism speech, I'll get back to the kitchen.)

(I'm kidding.)

Look, I know that when Aislynn turns 13 and the next Justin Beaver (or whatever his name is) is singing his way to the top, she's going to want ANYTHING with his pouty face on it. I will deal with that then. Right now though? She doesn't know Justin whatever from Ringo Starr. (Seriously, how old do I sound?) Does her diaper really need to have Dora the explorer on it? Does her onsies really need to have Disney princess slathered all over it? Does her bathing suit need to have Piglet on it to prove she's a fan? I don't think so! 

So, my dear friends, we don't do those things in our house.

Our clothing just has generic pictures on them.

Our toys will be plain and boring.

Our shoes might light up, but they won't have Batman on them to make us run faster. 

We will have Disney movies. The ones with a message we approve of. 

Honestly though? I think we'd prefer VeggieTales.

We will allow certain Disney books. One or two.

I know that I can't always control what our families and friends give us, and it's not like we're going to say, "Oh, no thanks, we don't do Disney." How rude would that be? WE'RE just not going to spend the money on it. And our friends and family mostly know my feelings about Disney. Or they will know once they read this. If they read this. I also know that every Birthday invitation I send out for Aislynn will have to say "Please respect that we have a Disney free house!". Or something like that. I'm ok with that. Because I'm a mom now. Which means I get to make the rules. Ha ha! Suckers!

Anyway, I hope that this has enlightened you a bit on a couple decisions we've made as a family. I know there are other weird things we do, and maybe I'll have to explain those too.

But another day ok? I'm a mom now. I'm sleepy!!

Growing up...

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I'm a Salvation Army Officer's Kid. 

Now, for those of you who know what that really means, you're reaction will be one of two. A giant shudder, or an excitement as your straighten up in your chair. 

I'm more of the shuddering type.

Let me start with saying that I had an enriching and privileged life. I had a mum and a dad who were still married. Not only married, but in love. I had a big brother who looked out for me. I went on yearly family vacations, California, Scotland, Florida, etc. I never wanted for anything.

Except, maybe, a normal life.

I don't begrudge my parents for their decision in following "the call" from the Big Guy upstairs. I really don't. In fact, I greatly admire their willingness to go wherever God needs them. They have made some really tough decisions and I am very proud to call them my parents.

So now that I have that clear, let me moan a bit about being an Officers Kid.

First things first. Being a pastor's kid you are labeled as either seriously bad or seriously good. When it came to our family I was the seriously bad one and my brother was the seriously good one. Especially in one of my parents corps eyes. My brother worked hard through school, even though there was a few circumstances beyond his control that made it pretty darn difficult for him. He powered through, though and got his high school diploma. He then went on to go to College and then get his degree. He is soft spoken, well mannered, handsome. He worked at the Salvation Army summer camp. He's gone on to a job where he is helping people and making a change in the world. He is a good guy.

I, on the other hand, was a little hellion.

I was a 16 year old girl who wouldn't listen to her parents. Whose boyfriend actually went into my parents office and made a huge scene. I skipped class, never did my homework, stayed out late, got into heated fights with my mum. I am crass, loudmouthed, belligerent at times, basically I was not very pleasant. I'm still not all that pleasant at times. I somehow managed to get my high school diploma. Making a lot of teachers want to retire early, I'm sure. After high school I bummed around. Got a waitressing gig, mostly to support partying with my friends, always dating the bad boys, still argued with my mum. A lot. I even managed to make a few enemies in the church. One family going so far as to write me hate mail. 

I'm not blaming the SA for how I behaved. In fact, I strongly agree with a lot of what the Army stands for. I still feel as though it is my church home. But I do have a lot of resentment for Army folk.

Just so we're clear, when I say Army, I mean the Salvation Army. Please don't think I'm some sort of troop hater. 

I really feel that if I had been a regular kid, we wouldn't have been under a microscope. Or I wouldn't have felt like we were under a microscope. I find it very difficult to live in the Army because I feel like I'm constantly being judged. Who knows though, right? Grass is always greener and all that malarkey. 

Another thing I find hard about the Army is the other Officer Kids. Again, we fall under two categories. Total Army Kids, and Totally NOT Army Kids.

I chose to be a NOT. Since I chose that path, I felt ostracized by my "fellow" Officer Kids on a regular basis. While they all got together at camp every summer, and talked about how awesome it is to be a part of that group, I felt left out. I felt like I was a disappointment to my parents. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be in the Army. As a teenage girl that is the worst feeling.

I STILL feel like I'm an outsider to that world. While all the other Officer Kids are BFF, I look on and feel like this world that I live in, is keeping me out. I feel like there is a giant, metal door, and all the other cool kids know the password and have a key, and I'm just standing there. Like a knob. Wanting so desperately to be a part of it, but coming up short.

I just don't understand, why organizations have to have people in them to run.

You find a group, ANY group, and there is a cool kids table and the loser table. 

When it comes to the Army? I'm at the loser table.

But y'know what? I'm ok with it. I grew up and led as normal a life as I could. I had MORE than the Salvation Army in my life. I made friends with people who's parents did normal things. Like, worked a 9 to 5 job. Had vacations at Christmas. Didn't drive a 16 passenger van.

Now, I don't want you to think all Salvation Army churches are like that. In fact, far from it.

I've got two examples.

The small town where Cuinn and I got married. That corps, is the most friendly, warm, welcoming and loving corps I ever went to. Yes, of course it had it's problems. Show me a church that is perfect and I'll show you a church with zero attendee's. We made some life long friends in that church. I never FELT such love in a church until I attended that one. It's the church that brought me back to my faith, the church that showed me human kindness, the church that put my faith back into humanity. I will forever be grateful to that church.

My other example is the big city Cuinn and I just left. 

It was the first corps I went to as a person and not as an Officer's Kid. We made some fantastic friends there. We LOVED the Officers there. We still do. That church showed me how kind Christians can be. How giving they are. How much people are willing to lend a hand to a young couple of newlyweds. We had our beautiful baby dedicated in that church and we try to get back there to see people. It's hard because it's a little over an hours drive, but we try. The officers there CARE. About people, their ministry, God, scrapbooking, less fortunate, extremely fortunate. They care. 

I love the Salvation Army. I do. I grew up in a pretty awesome church. It's just so hard to remember that sometimes people will fail you. Sometimes there is discord in a church. Sometimes God is going to test you with super hard times and people who are super hard to love.

Do I sometimes wish my parents had just let "The Call" go to voicemail?

Yup.

Do I have regrets about parts of my past?

Sure.

If I could go back and do it all the same, would I?

Absolutely. Because I am who and where I am because of all the experiences. All the choices I made. All the choices my parents made on my behalf. All the crap we went through. It's made me the woman I am today, and I think I'm pretty awesome.

Aren't friends great?

I could not get through life without friends. I am one of those types of people who NEEDS people. I really love my alone time, don't get me wrong, but I really love to socialize. I am married to a man who is quite content staying at home, and not seeing people. Ever. 

We are very different.

But back to the point of this blog.

My friends S and M stopped by for a quick visit on their way to see some family. They brought their beautiful children PK and Little Bean. A couple of red headed darlings. I love this family for a few different reasons.

They're British. So they completely understand my low tolerance for heat and humidity.

They're raising a couple of christian kids. And they're ok with it.

They're so completely down to earth. 

They know what it's like to be starting out. 

They parent the same way Cuinn and I want to parent. Which is so reassuring that I'm doing something right. Because I've seen how her kids act, and they are wonderful children! PK is such a joy, and Little Bean is such a sweet little boy. 

Anyway, they were able to stop by and we got to meet each other's babies. We have both had babies since the last time we saw each other (actually, last time I saw them S was pregnant, and I was still not.). Her Little Bean is  just as cute as the pictures I've seen! He is such a boy! I don't like to be stereotypical about kids, but he was so content to sit in the sand and dig and eat dirt. He was such a mess and it was wonderful. My motto is, the dirtier the clothes, the more fun we had. Boy did Little Bean have fun. :)

One of the other things I love about this family is their generous and giving hearts. They brought with them a laundry basket FULL of clothing for baby Aislynn. Also a book on BLW, which is going to put me more at ease with my decision. I've already read the first chapter and I can already feel that my decision was the right one. While I was trying to put Aislynn down for a nap, I went through the laundry basket of treasures and sorted it all and put it all away. Let me tell you, there are some BEAUTIFUL pieces that I can not wait to put Aislynn in! Seriously! I actually took a couple pictures of my favorites just so I could post and brag about my new outfits. I am so glad that my love affair with overalls is someone else's joy too. Another wonderful thing about the treasures? Some of them are British!! Yay!!

Anyway, here are a couple pictures. 

 I love, love, LOVE polka dots!

LOOK! She sits by herself!!

Anyway, thank you S and M for stopping by and giving us our new to us outfits! Looking forward to getting together again!

Let's talk about me.

Hello my lovely readers! How are you doing on this fine Tuesday evening?

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this blog. It's still fairly new, I don't have a lot of readers, mostly just family and friends, but that's ok. Mommy blogs seem to be a dime a dozen now-a-days and I don't really think mine is anything special that would make it stand out. I'm not being self deprecating. I'm just stating a fact.

When I started this blog, I think I just wanted a place to write down some memories so that I would have another place for Aislynn to look at one day and say, "Hey, my mum really liked me." Now that I've got it going I'm beginning to think it was a very rash decision.

Don't worry my 5 followers, I'm not shutting down shop. I'm just musing.

Ask any of my friends how they would describe me and I'm willing to bet they would say something along the lines of:

Friendly

Outgoing

Open

Hilarious (or is that just my humble opinion of myself.)

A little sarcastic

A little (or a lot) bit of a loudmouth

I really don't think any of the people who know me IRL (in real life) would think to say I'm a private person.

I think a lot of people would be surprised that I feel vunerable a lot of the time and that when it comes to my personal life and my family life I am incredibly private about it.

When I started this blog I think I was a little naive. Actually, I think I was a lot naive. I didn't realize what a personal thing blogging is. The fact that I've put it out there on the interent is starting to scare me. It's an incredible thing that I'm putting myself out there to be judged. I'm finding it harder and harder to sit down and start writing. I mean, I'm basically letting you all read my diary. I find myself rethinking all my posts, wondering if what I'm sharing is too personal. Wondering if I really want anyone reading this.

Now, I am not ashamed of my life. I'm not ashamed of my family or the choices we've made. I'm happy where I am.

But...

I still struggle with all the same insecurities as the next girl. Or boy.

Do you like what I'm writing?

Is it worth it to continue?

Do I sound like an idiot?

Is my writing redundant?

Is it good enough?

I'm not looking for any kind of praise with this blog, just so we're all on the same page. I'm just trying to figure a few things out.

I have been enjoying writing. I think, for now, I'll keep it up. I'll welcome you all into my life for a little while longer.  

Another mummy quandry.

Just a note, this post is going to come out pretty rambly, unstructured, and boring to those of you without kids. Sorry.

I am so confused about food and my baby.

For the last week I have been feeling like Baby Aislynn is ready to progress from just breast feeding and onto some food. She is staring at us when we eat, trying to grab off my plate, and putting more and more things into her mouth. I've brought it up a few times with Cuinn, but not seriously enough to have a long discussion about it. I've done my research. Before Aislynn came along I had planned on doing BLW (baby led weaning). I just felt that it would be like an extension of breastfeeding. Allowing Aislynn to have a lot of control over what she's eating and allowing her to eat naturally. I found this site very helpful in giving me the low down on BLW. I still need to get my doctor's opinion. Our next appointment is on the 29th. I hate having to wait.

On the other hand, I can give her some rice cereal NOW and I don't have to wait until 6 months. Which is 2 months away! Also, the nurse at one of my mommy groups told me that giving the baby rice cereal is fine. And that for some babies it is a good start to get them going on working their mouth on something other than milk or formula.

Through my research though, I'm finding that there is next to no actual nutrients or benefits to giving her rice cereal. The only real good part of it is the breast milk. Which she is already getting from me when she eats. So is it really necessary to give her "empty calories" through rice cereal? 

I don't know.

Cuinn keeps telling me that I should just go with my gut. But how do I go with my gut when it changes every day? I mean, I really do think I am leaning more towards forgoing the whole rice cereal thing and go back to my original plan of BLW. On the other hand though...

I have been fighting these thoughts over and over in my head for the last week. Well, if I'm going to be honest, since she was born. I don't know why, but the food issue has been on my mind since I was pregnant. I don't know why, but my mind always fixates on one thing and I just can't shake it. The last 6 months, it's all about baby's food.

Since in the last week I've been really thinking about the rice cereal I felt a little weird when, at church today, my new friend C and her husband S told us that they just started their daughter N on rice cereal yesterday! Their daughter was born a couple weeks before Aislynn so is roughly the same age as her. 

Now, I know. I'm not supposed to compete with other moms. I KNOW. All babies do things at different times. I KNOW. What's right for one baby is not necessarily right for another. I KNOW.

But honestly? I felt so upset that N is on rice cereal and I haven't started with Aislynn yet. I felt like I was behind. I felt like I needed to catch up.

So I went out and bought some rice cereal. 

And I'm beginning to think it was a mistake.

I just. I dunno. I really hate being the mum sometimes, y'know? I hate that I have the final say. I know that a lot of people are really glad that they have the final word and what they say goes, but for me it's just stressful! I want to make the right decision, and I hate having to make the final decision. Because what if I'm wrong? No one is there to tell me that I made the absolute right decision or the absolute wrong decision. Yes, there are tone of people on both sides giving me their opinions, but in the end they always say, "But you're the mum and ultimately it's YOUR decision. Do what YOU feel is right."

The thing is...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT!!!!

I'm new at this. Would you ask the person at your job who had only been working there for four months what to do? No, you would ask the more experienced person. They would know what to do. The newbie would have no idea.

So why are you making me decide?

Anyway, after writing this blog, which has taken me about an hour, I think I am going to go with BLW. I think I am going to hold off on the rice cereal.

I have a doctor's appointment on the 29th. Maybe I'll talk to him and see what he thinks. Either way I look at it I lose though. I'm wrong if I give her rice cereal and I'm wrong if I do BLW.

GAH, I'm too much of a perfectionist for mothering sometimes. I just wish I had one option. The only right option. So that I knew for certain what I was doing was right. Especially when it comes to my daughter. 

I know I'm probably going to regret asking this, but what do you, my lovely readers and follows, think? Should I wait until 6 months and do BLW? Should I just give in and give her some rice cereal? What do you do and why did you choose that? Do you have any good references? Thanks! 

Yay blogging!!

Here are the rules:

Copy the award image into a post.

List 10 things that make you happy.
Tag 10 bloggers who brighten your day.
Put in a link to their blogs.
Notify the award receivers.
Recipients should link back to the sender’s blog.

My 10 happy things:

My Faith

Cuinn
Aislynn
Laughing with friends
Dancing in the rain
My mom's cookin'
Cuddles on a snowy day
Meeting new people
Reading
Music

                                                                                                   

10 Bloggers Who Brighten My Day (in no particular order…):

Krysta - She's a friend of mine who shares my love of food. Especially Taco Tuesday. She was recently a flight attendant for an elite airline. So for the last year and a bit she's been blogging about her travels, she just got engaged, and is now living in the same city as her fiancee. I think she's pretty awesome and I think you'll all like her too! She's a very happy person.

Allison - She's a wonderful cook, blogger, wife, SA pastor and lady. I've never actually met her but I've known her husband for about 11 years. Although I was closer (in age and relationship) to his younger brother. I don't know how to comment on her blog, so I'm hoping she see's this and doesn't think I'm a stalker now that I've explained how I know her. Ha ha. (By the way, Allison, my married name was Bain. I don't think Peter knew I got married and changed my name.) Anyway, if you like yummy looking (and tasting) food, and some fun ideas, you'll like her blog.

Tammy - She's another one of those crazy SA folk. She took over the corps from my parents and invited me and my husband (who was my boyfriend then) over to check out my old digs. Wow was that strange. (Being in my home when it was someone else's. Not the fact that she invited me over.) She's a mommy, a wife, a crafter, a blogger and a pretty neat lady. I always love reading her blogs, they make me laugh. She's actually moving this summer so I'm hoping we can maybe connect. Anyway, go read her blog. She's pretty cool.

Tatortots and Jello - I don't know if this counts because I don't actually know who does this blog. But I follow it, I love it, and it gets my creative juices flowing. A lot of other blogger type people occasionally post on it so I have found a couple other bloggers who I kind of love. Anyway. If you are creative and looking for a little bit of inspiration, go on over and check it out. (be warned, it's a lot more aimed at mommies. What? I'm a mummy now, it's my life.) 

Apartment Therapy - This is another one I'm not sure that counts, but it's one of my favorites and it had to be included. Since I live in a rinky dink apartment, I have limited choices for home decor. Or do I? This blog has helped me learn to love what space I've got. 

Nike - Pronounces "Nee Ka", she's made this blog all about her "rock-what-ya-got" philosophy and I think she does it in a pretty classy way. I love her What Not To Toss special posts. She's a stay at home mom of 6 kids! All under the age of ten! I get a lot of inspiration on how to do awesome things, while spending (or not spending) minimal amounts of cashola. 

Karly - This girl just makes me laugh. She is so full of life and energy and love for her new husband. She loves to entertain and love to blog about it. I think she's going places. I don't actually know her, but I would like to. She's the kind of person with an infectious smile and she seems like one of those girls you just wanna hug.

Sarah - I'm not going to post the link to her blog because I remember her saying it was a private blog and I don't want her to be mad at me if I post a link. She's a new(ish) friend. We don't actually see each other all too often, I used to go to the same church as some of her family and that's how we met. She's a really wonderful, down to earth kinda lady. Truth be told, when I think about how to be a good mum/christian/woman, she's right up there on my list of who I look up to. I think she's pretty awesome. She's got two very adorable kids, her oldest is the kind of kid who smiles with their entire body, and her youngest is just so huggable. Anyway, I'm hoping she knows that I'm talking about her.

Jill - Who says food can't be for playing with? She blogs about kitchen fun with her three sons. They make some pretty awesome food, and it's pretty nutritious as well. Pretty sneaky way to get your kids to eat veggies. I can't wait until my beautiful baby girl is old enough to play in the kitchen with me so I can try out some creations of Jill's and also make my own. 

Sarah - This is the woman who introduced me to attachment parenting. Well, the term anyway, since I was already doing it before I knew of it. I agree with a lot of her parenting styles and it's so nice to read another mummy's blog who is doing a lot of the same things I'm doing. Gives me a little hope that maybe I'm doing a few things right. 

A bit of a ramble.

Here we are.

Monday again.

I never used to like Monday's.

When I was a kid it meant back to school after two days off. 

Which I hated.

Then I graduated.

and basically partied all the time.

And Monday was no exception.

Then I got a job.

Monday meant getting up to work after two days off.

And Monday's started to suck again.

Then I got married.

And everyday was awesome.

So Monday wasn't so bad.

Then I got pregnant.

And every day was fatter than the last.

Now I have a baby.

And Monday means my New Parents group at the OEYC

Ontario Early Years Center for those of you who were wondering.

I love the groups that I have joined. I've made myself a little routine here in our new tiny town. I'm kinda loving it. 

Although, today I'm finding out I like routine more than I thought.

Cuinn accidentally drove to work with the stroller in the trunk.

Which means I either baby wear the whole way to my group, or I stay home.

Neither of these options appeals to me because it's very humid today, and my baby gets really sweaty when I baby wear that far.

But not going really doesn't seem like an option to me.

I really, really, really, REALLY need to go to my groups.

Because I'm going to admit something that not a lot of mums don't like to admit.

I need help.

Since my mum and dad went back to England, and we have moved to our tiny town, I have felt like I'm on a precipice. 

I feel like I could fall over and land in the pit of Post-Partum.

I feel myself getting very weepy some days.

I feel that some days are really hard to get through.

Harder than others.

I feel that some days I'm just not doing it right.

But when I am able to get out, and meet other mommies, I feel in control again.

I have a very fantastic, supportive, amazing man who understands that I need a break sometimes. When I called him to let him know he had the stroller he felt real bad. It made me feel good that he felt bad. Wait! Before you think I'm some kind of mean wife, let me explain! The fact that he felt bad is just so Cuinn. He knows how important my groups are, and he knows how I love to get out and walk with Aislynn. He thinks about me. And he thinks about my feelings. I really love him for that.

We had a great weekend.

Friday was Canada Day. And you can read all about my adventures here. What a fantastic day to celebrate!

Saturday Cuinn was working. As usual. So I just had a day with baby Aislynn. She was pretty crusty because she was all of routine. She went to bed so late on Friday night, still woke up at her regular time, and we were both a little bit (actually a lot bit) cranky and tired. So we snoozed and hung out.

Sunday was another fun filled day. Church in the morning. Where THREE babies were dedicated. It really reminded me of Aislynn's dedication. 

What a wonderful day that was to spend with family and friends while we gave Aislynn back. Promising to love her and guide her and teach her all about how much God loves her. Even more than mummy and daddy. Almost seems impossible.

 After Church, a new church friend (it seems as if I say new friend a lot lately. That's what happens when you move to a new tiny town.) invited us to their house for a brunch. Her baby was one of the dedicated babies that day so there was a bit of a party at her house. It was so nice to be included. We went and had a great time. Again, Cuinn showed me how much he cares for me by going and being social. In our family I am the social butterfly and he is the recluse. He would be so much happier if we just stayed home all the time. We compromise a lot. Him by going out and meeting new people with me, which he almost always ends up enjoying, and I opt to stay home and watch a movie when I can see that Cuinn's had a bit too much people meeting.

After the brunch, I said in the car how much I would love to go swimming with Aislynn that afternoon. Cuinn responded by saying, "Why don't you give A a call and see if she wants to go?"

Hey, I can take a hint.

I got home to a message from A asking if I wanted to go swimming, perfect!

We went swimming, then Cuinn, baby Aislynn and I went over to A's for BBQ. Cuinn helped out BBQing since us girls don't do that. BBQing is a mans job. And he did it so well.

Now today baby Aislynn and I are heading out to our mommy group. We're getting picked up early by Cuinn because we're meeting our new doctor today. Which is exciting. I already have a list of questions to ask. I hope I don't get nervous and forget them all. Which happens a lot to me. Especially around Doctors. 

I hope you all had a lovely weekend, and here's to a lovely week!!