Warning. This post was really meant to be about something else, but then I just started typing, and I went with it. It's not my usual hilarity, it's a bit more introspective. I think...
Sometimes my life feels really boring.
Aislynn wakes up, Cuinn and I cuddle with her and try to put her back to sleep so we can have another ten minutes.
We go out to the living room and I make some breaky while Aislynn runs around the house. She is so a morning person. Cuinn and I so are not.
Cuinn is off to work.
Aislynn and I go about our various routines. Sometimes it's mommy group. Sometimes it's a park day. Sometimes it's a play date. Sometimes it's errands. Sometimes it's pj's and a movie.
Aislynn goes for a nap, I tidy the living room/disaster zone.
Aislynn wakes up and destroys all the tidying I did.
Cuinn comes home and I start dinner.
We eat, then we either head to the park, or play together on the floor.
Then Aislynn goes to bed. And Cuinn and I have some time together.
Lately I've been feeling like I'm in a rut. A mummy rut, if you will. I feel like I've given so much of myself up. Which I am totally happy to do. I might not have known exactly what I was getting into by making the choice of being a stay at home mum, but I am absolutely happy with the decision.
But there's still that niggling feeling of, when the heck did Sarah the person completely check out while Sarah the wife and mum completely take over?
This last weekend I went on a retreat with the ladies from my church.
I found Sarah the person again.
I had a whole weekend of reflection, and prayer, and fellowship with other ladies and quiet. It was such an honor to be a part of this weekend. We were all sharing things that were so intimate, and I really felt like I was a part of this huge family of sister's uplifting one another.
I realized that I have been carrying around a few deep hurts, I realized that I haven't been walking the path that God has been so clearly laying out for me (Actually, it's more of Him knocking me over the head with a mallet and I've just been ignoring it), I realized that I've been hiding behind this role of just being a wife and a mother and completely ignoring the other important part of me.
So, there will be a few changes in my life. And I've come to you all, my dear precious readers and friends, asking for prayers.
Prayers for the huge step that I will be taking in the next few months of going back to one of my passions.
I'm not quite ready to share the plans yet, because I'm so scared. I told two of my closest friends. My two girl friends who will keep my accountable because they always do. I hope you two know that it was completely intentional that I told you two. It was no mistake.
I'm so blessed in so many ways, and now it's time to take some time for me. Which scares the poop outta me!
The good news for all of you is that I'll be posting a lot more! I love to blog, and I have found a love for writing. I don't think I'll be winning any awards for my rambles, and I'm sure it's full of errors and a particular English major who I've known for years is probably cringing at most of it. But I am really enjoying it. So, part of the change is that I am getting back to blogging! So I'll be here. A lot. I hope you all stick around too.
Thanks for reading.
OH, and here's a pic of Aislynn. It's not a blog post without a pic of my darling girl.
Oh, those eyes.