Well, I am on day 3 of 6 of solo parenting.
My hubby is away on a business conference in Quebec City and I am here, with Aislynn, really missing him.
I have become very aware of why God intended there to be two parents. It wasn't just because it's so very hard to do everything alone (which it is. So very hard, and exhausting. And I've only been at it for 3 days, more on this later), but it's just so lonely. I mean, I have tons of people I could call and ask them to come spend time with me and they would. At the drop of a hat. I have friends who all I would have to say is, "I could really use an hour all to myself" and they would take Aislynn and let me be human for a bit. I'm not talking about that kind of loneliness. I'm talking about how it's so nice to have someone to share moments with. There have been about a million little things that have happened that I think to myself, "Oh, I can't wait to tell Cuinn about that" or, "Cuinn would think this is so funny/sad/cute/amazing." There are just so many things I want to share with him, and only him. Yeah, it's nice to talk to my friends about it, but it's just so much more special to share it with my partner. I miss our family bed. I don't like sleeping alone (Well, as alone as I can get with Aislynn in the bed). I really don't like making dinner for one. How depressing.
Also, I'm exhausted. Serious. I've had to do every single diaper change. Every single nap time/bed time routine. Every single meal. ALL the playing, all the crying, all the tantrums. I just want to give a special shout out to all the single parents out there who do this by themselves 365 DAYS A YEAR! Way to go you! I'm especially thinking of my sister in law A. She's with my brother now, but she was a single mom for 5 years and I just have so much respect for her and for how hard it is. Now, I'm only doing it for 6 days, so I don't get the FULL effect of it, but I do understand a little more how difficult it is to do it on your own.
On the flip side to all this, there is a really nice feeling of being alone with Aislynn.
Because I don't want you all to think I'm minutes away from leaving Aislynn in her crib and running away because I can't handle it.
I'm actually enjoying our alone time, because I get to be selfish.
I get to have ALL the cuddles and kisses. I get to have special tubby time and then snuggle time by ourselves. We're playing, just the two of us.
Cuinn is SUCH a huge help, he really is, but having just the two of us makes it a little more relaxed. Not that Cuinn is uptight or rigid or anything, but it's different. And we're managing, just the two of us.
We really miss daddy.
But we're also really enjoying our girl time.
I've got to go now though, Aislynn is up from her nap, and is hungry for snack.
Life of a mummy, it's a busy life.
2 comments:
I've never had to be alone with the kids by myself other than when Michael had his surgery and my mom came to stay but I have had times when he worked really long hours... it's awful. When I have been on my own most of the time, I develop a much better appreciation for what single parents face. I feel so lucky that I am not doing this alone!
I'm just so glad I have a partner in this. Especially with my family being so far away, it would be impossible to do it without him.
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