Sometimes I feel like I haven't left high school.
I am one of those people that takes everything to heart. A look. A harsh word. A word that wasn't harsh but I took it harsh anyway. Someone doesn't answer the phone.
I remember growing up and telling on my brother for being mean to me and my mum was constantly sighing while saying, "Sarah, stop being so sensitive, for Pete's sake, he's just bugging you!"
I've been so sensitive for as long as I can remember.
Which makes being a mum/woman/grown up very difficult sometimes.
This is basically my long winded way of getting to my point.
And here it is.
Y'know those people who you feel were put on the earth to make you feel inferior? Those people whose very presence just makes you feel like crap?
I've got a couple of those right now, and I am in my most sensitive right now. I can't explain it, but I'm feeling really crummy right now. The smallest thing sets me off. I nearly cried in front of a friend this week, which, if you know me, does not happen. I might be a crier, but I'm a crier in my own home. I don't do the whole crying in public thing. It mortifies me.
I will say, I'm glad it happened in front of A, who I've grown pretty close to and feel comfortable enough around that I know she wouldn't judge, she'd just listen.
So basically, this week has been really hard.
This post is coming off really all over the place, and whiny. Not what I intended.
I'm feeling lost. And out of place. I'm feeling like my faith is really being pushed to the limits and I don't feel like I can take it much longer.
And all while I'm feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin, that person who makes me feel small and insignificant is making me feel tinier and insignificant-er. To the point that it's time for a break from them.
And that was Cuinn ordered.
Because I don't think he even knows what to do with me anymore. The poor guy. Because, like I said, I do NOT cry in public, but boy have I ever let rip at home this week.
Anyway, I guess the whole point to this post was to get it off my chest. To remind someone else (anyone else) that you're not alone, because if I am feeling this lost, than surely there is someone else who might be feeling this way too. And wouldn't it be comforting to know that they're not going through that alone?